This morning, my hands were dry. Oh how I cherish these moments! Dry anything is like Christmas-- better even! Because they were dry, I decided to cover them with a hyperhidrosis victim's death sentence-- lotion. I always hesitate when doing this, because I know that a little bit of moisture will cause my whole body to begin sweating. And once you begin sweating, you know there is no stopping the rage of hyperhidrosis. Well, I put it on anyway and walked out into the arctic cold.

As I began walking up "freshman hill", I noticed it was covered in a thick layer of ice-- a death sentence to more than just people with hyperhidrosis. All of the sudden, the "I never sweat" girl next to me slipped and fell! How embarrassing. As she was saying a storm of many blasphemous words which I will not repeat on this blog, I could not help but chuckle a little. Nevertheless, I offered her a hand up. 

While doing so, I seemed to neglect one problem: lotion. 

Oh yeah, and I have hyperhidrosis.

I am now considering being a mathematician because I have figured out an equation:

Lotion + sweat + cold = almost frozen solid, slippery hands.

As she grasped my hand, the sliding began. I tried to get a grip on her and the situation as much as possible until it happened. Down we both went into the depths of the icy ground. 

Whoops.

My efforts to help had suddenly turned into efforts to kill.

Whatever, I'm still beautiful.

Xoxo,

Sweaty and Hawt.