The Diaries Of A Sweaty Girl

I really appreciate all of your questions and comments you have given me! It makes me feel great to know that there are awesome people out there and people who have hyperhidrosis out there too! 

I am sitting here late at night with my mind buzzing about so many things. 

The main thing and positive message I want to convey to you all is to just be yourself. Don't be anything else but that. Don't rob yourself of life. 

I talked about this a little bit in my video yesterday about how I am a huge advocate for being confident in your own skin. While there are so many things that might be a little more sweaty about having hyperhidrosis, there are so many GREAT things about living a happy life. 

So many people have asked tips on how to be more comfortable with hyperhidrosis. It is great to feel comfortable and I believe everyone should feel comfortable in their own skin, but there is also something so liberating about feeling a little uncomfortable. Pushing yourself outside of your limits. Standing up and giving a speech in front of a group of people. Blogging even though the sweat is dripping off your hands and onto the computer (me currently) :). Isn't that what life is about? Taking risks and going for something?

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

Go out and get em', you great, sweaty achiever you. 

Thanks for reading!! Have a GREAT week and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable this week!! Let me know how it goes. 

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Recently, while talking to my mom, I realized a big problem that we have in our world today, specifically in this era. That is the fact that we are not truly living our lives. We are often consumed and living based on what other people think, receiving unsatisfying, and short lasting false senses of happiness. No, you may not think so -- but then again, either did I.

My Senior year of high school I was tired. Engulfed in a world of a million different things, people and ideas, I was "happy"-- but not truly happy. I realized that I was living my life at the will of other people and other things. Now I don't know if that is because of my own traits, things that happened in my life, or because of having hyperhidrosis, but I found that there was no one to blame but myself. I found that pleasing other people was making me despondent, without even realizing it. It wasn't until the end of that year, when I finally said, "no" to someone, that I realized I had been taken advantage of by others, but mostly by myself. My lifelong tendencies to please other people finally became recognizable, and I decided to make the most out of my life.

Coming out to college I developed more of a back bone, free to do what I wanted to do with my life, and what made me happy.

However, a few weeks ago, without realizing, I had fallen back into the trap. Dealing with the recent breakup was fine, but it wasn't until the other day that I contemplated my happiness and realized why I wasn't the happiest I could be: I was living my life for other people. Trying to gain a sense of "happiness"-- but it was fake, and unsatisfying. I decided then and there to make a change. 

Project: Happiness, I thought.

I began to write fiercely, sweat dripping down my palms, channeling my emotions into something good. Making myself better. I made a list. Goals, if you will. Things that make me truly happy. Things I want to accomplish here at the university, in my religion, with my family, my health, and with my friends. 

Then I made a schedule. I filled up my day with things that were just for me and my truest happiness and took out the things that weren't.

Instead of Facebook, I scheduled in reading a book or talking a walk. Spending just a little more time in my religious studies. Taking the time I would be watching TV or tweeting, to calling a friend or a family member, or writing a note and expressing my love for them. Importantly, I created spending more time on campus, learning, studying, growing. I began to leave my phone at home, simplifying my life, and call me old fashion but guess what? It has been SO nice. I have found I am able to focus more and be more in the moment with people and myself.

I realized in this life changing moment, that I could live for myself, and not for others. Now don't misunderstand. Living for others is different than living for yourself to then give of yourself to others. This is crucial to progress. We must be our own converts to happiness first.

I realized that everything we do in our lives is too often based on what other people think, trying to impress others, and creating this false sense of "happiness" that becomes a viscous cycle and actually binds us, not letting us live. Think about why we do the things we do, and why we say the things we say. Think about technology: why do we post on Facebook? To get recognized? Do we want to impress someone else? Or are we looking at other people's lives, comparing ourselves, and then feel the constant need to post about our own lives, to get the reaction or attention from the world. In breakups- are we trying to "bump into" our ex? Post on twitter to have them think we've "moved on" or that we are "so happy". We are living for something else. People involved deeply with drugs, alcohol, eating disorders-- these are all false senses of happiness, that never last.

These things do not bring us true happiness.

Today I challenge you all to do more of what makes you truly happy. If that's starting completely over, simply not bringing your phone to dinner, making more good use of your time, waking up a little earlier, make progress toward the things you REALLY want in life. After all, it's yours. And it can be GREAT. Don't let the world or other's tell you otherwise.

Today, I challenge you to live.

Thank you for reading.

Sweaty and Hawt.

*This is a summary of events, some taken from my journal. Enjoy! Thanks for reading:)*

I had my whole summer planned out accordingly. I would leave to college in the fall, and this was my last summer before things got serious. We planned on having the surgery mid July, leaving just enough time for me to heal properly before I would make the trek to a new life. It was perfect. A new me. A new life. No more hot, sweaty Arizona summers for me. This was the summer I was going to get the life changing ETS surgery.

For those who may not be familiar with the ETS surgery, it is a so found "cure" for those with hyperhidrosis. However, although a minimally evasive surgery, it is still dangerous. They collapse your lungs, and clamp or clip the nerves in your spinal column that trigger the sweating in your hands, and sometimes can stop the sweating in your feet, too. For more information, look on the Mayo Clinic Website. 

For years I had wanted this surgery, and my mom always simply said, "no". She was anxious, as a mom would be, but I was distraught. I just wanted my life to be better-- and I thought that this surgery would be the solution. After many months of just coping, my mother finally agreed that I could go and get a consultation. Shedding tears with the doctor, my mother decided that for an early 18th birthday present, I could get this surgery. It was my life and what I wanted. I didn't even care about the side effects of the surgery. This trial of mine needed to end. 

That summer was a good one for me. Graduation, trips to the beach, getting tan, going up to the mountains, being with friends for the last time, country music, and my all-time favorite: the lake. Day time, nighttime, I love the lake! Lake Powell was different this year; the days were spent talking to my mother about the surgery and my family and I reminiscing about embarrassing stories. They were all excited for the new me.

Lake Powell. July 3. What a gorgeous place.

"The sun wakes me up early--- 6 am. I hike up the canyon alone, stopping to sit on what feels like the top of the world. I am an adventurer. An explorer. The lake stretches out for miles as smooth as glass, the hot sun bakes my body from the outside in. A cool breeze brushes against me, gently sweeping the hair around my face. It tickles. I smile and reach for my hair in an effort to brush it back. Then I feel it. A wet streak left on my face. I stare out at the beauty of the Earth and contemplate who I will be in a couple of weeks: a changed, better person, someone without this trial. My life will then be complete. My life will then be changed forever." Little did I know how right I was.

We left Lake Powell and made the journey back to Arizona. I just wanted it to be the day. I just wanted to be changed already.

Then it came. July 12, 2012.

"Welp, today I get surgery! Right now it's 4:45 am and about 10 minutes before I leave for surgery. I know that all will be well! God will protect me and take care of me. I am so excited for this day which will change my life... FOREVER. Well I'm off to the hospital. See ya when I'm sweat free!"

Sweat free? Or not?
...To be continued...

xoxo,

Sweaty and Hawt.

*Drop me a comment! Shoot me an email! I would love to hear your stories and feedback! Tune in for the rest of my story soon! :) Subscribe via email to be notified about my posts. Thanks for reading! Ps... you're all hawt.*

You guys, life can be hard.

Life: existence, spirit, living, being.

Why does life have to be hard?

It doesn't.

Life was hard.

Life is going to be hard.

But for the moment, life is not hard. 

You see, life is not just to be endured. 

Sure, when times are rough, it feels like we are the only person in the world and that know one understands.

The crying on the telephone to mom and dad, the hope for a better day, and a new tomorrow.

The pain in our hearts that if we just were different, if we just didn't have this problem, that LIFE--our  spirit, our existence-- would be so much better.

We are all humans.

Look around you, and I guarantee that those surrounding you in this life are struggling, dealing, coping, with trials.

Life is who we are. It makes us... who we are.

So let life be hard yesterday and struggle tomorrow. But for now, and every day, live this beautiful life.

You see, life...

Life... is to be enjoyed.

xoxo,

Sweaty and Hawt-- the girl who loves, well, life.

Pretty soon I will be sharing a day when I found myself. A day when my life was supposed to be changed to somehow be easier. But guess what? Life did not seem to have that in the cards for me. Please let me know if you would like to hear it and I would love to hear your feed back!