The Diaries Of A Sweaty Girl

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I grew up thinking I would never get married.

Self conscious. Even more sweaty around a boy that I liked.

Nervous. Anxious. Sweaty. Even worse-- drippy. I thought no one would ever think that that was beautiful.

That was, until July 6, 2013.

"I'm so sorry", I said to my boyfriend as I pulled my hand away from his for the millionth time. "My hands are always so sweaty."I was feeling down on myself because I always thought I was grossing people out, and I thought this would be the same instance.

But he pulled me by the shoulders and spun me around to face him. 

"Don't ever be sorry again", he said. "I don't care. I like it. I like you. Just the way you are." He took my hand and wiped it on his shirt, interlaced my fingers again with his, and kept on walking-- talking to me as if nothing had happened.

That was when I knew someone could love me for all of me. When I knew that he was different. When I knew I wanted someone like... like him.

On December 28, 2013, that man held my hands across an altar, I stared into his deep blue eyes, and we were married for time and all eternity.

And

I grew up thinking I would never get married.

I am not writing this to have you all cheer for me and to congratulate me. I am not writing this because I am an exception.

I am writing this so that hopefully you can all change your minds a little bit about yourselves. We have the power to create the life we live in, to create our happiness and our worlds. The results we see in life are in direct correlation with the small decisions we make each and every day. We all have difficulties here in this life. Learn from them. Grow from them. Don't look back or let them hold you back-- we are our greatest bullies. Be the kind of person you want to marry. 

People will bash on you and fight you and tell you you're not pretty enough-- but it is up to you to believe it. And if you do, someone else will too. But if you believe in yourself, and your sweaty hands and embrace who you are, someone else will too. 

I grew up thinking I would never get married.

I am now a wife to my best friend, the love of my life, and the man who believed in me even when I didn't myself.

Xoxo,

Sweaty and Hawt Girl.

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*This is a summary of events, some taken from my journal. Enjoy! Thanks for reading:)*

I had my whole summer planned out accordingly. I would leave to college in the fall, and this was my last summer before things got serious. We planned on having the surgery mid July, leaving just enough time for me to heal properly before I would make the trek to a new life. It was perfect. A new me. A new life. No more hot, sweaty Arizona summers for me. This was the summer I was going to get the life changing ETS surgery.

For those who may not be familiar with the ETS surgery, it is a so found "cure" for those with hyperhidrosis. However, although a minimally evasive surgery, it is still dangerous. They collapse your lungs, and clamp or clip the nerves in your spinal column that trigger the sweating in your hands, and sometimes can stop the sweating in your feet, too. For more information, look on the Mayo Clinic Website. 

For years I had wanted this surgery, and my mom always simply said, "no". She was anxious, as a mom would be, but I was distraught. I just wanted my life to be better-- and I thought that this surgery would be the solution. After many months of just coping, my mother finally agreed that I could go and get a consultation. Shedding tears with the doctor, my mother decided that for an early 18th birthday present, I could get this surgery. It was my life and what I wanted. I didn't even care about the side effects of the surgery. This trial of mine needed to end. 

That summer was a good one for me. Graduation, trips to the beach, getting tan, going up to the mountains, being with friends for the last time, country music, and my all-time favorite: the lake. Day time, nighttime, I love the lake! Lake Powell was different this year; the days were spent talking to my mother about the surgery and my family and I reminiscing about embarrassing stories. They were all excited for the new me.

Lake Powell. July 3. What a gorgeous place.

"The sun wakes me up early--- 6 am. I hike up the canyon alone, stopping to sit on what feels like the top of the world. I am an adventurer. An explorer. The lake stretches out for miles as smooth as glass, the hot sun bakes my body from the outside in. A cool breeze brushes against me, gently sweeping the hair around my face. It tickles. I smile and reach for my hair in an effort to brush it back. Then I feel it. A wet streak left on my face. I stare out at the beauty of the Earth and contemplate who I will be in a couple of weeks: a changed, better person, someone without this trial. My life will then be complete. My life will then be changed forever." Little did I know how right I was.

We left Lake Powell and made the journey back to Arizona. I just wanted it to be the day. I just wanted to be changed already.

Then it came. July 12, 2012.

"Welp, today I get surgery! Right now it's 4:45 am and about 10 minutes before I leave for surgery. I know that all will be well! God will protect me and take care of me. I am so excited for this day which will change my life... FOREVER. Well I'm off to the hospital. See ya when I'm sweat free!"

Sweat free? Or not?
...To be continued...

xoxo,

Sweaty and Hawt.

*Drop me a comment! Shoot me an email! I would love to hear your stories and feedback! Tune in for the rest of my story soon! :) Subscribe via email to be notified about my posts. Thanks for reading! Ps... you're all hawt.*